Merlin Sawall of the Courts of Chaos (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
purpleandgray) wrote2018-01-14 01:16 am
purpleandgray) wrote2018-01-14 01:16 am
Network [Tiamat]
1. ARRIVING DAY - IT'S A FINE DAY
[ This feed is actually captured from security cameras on Deck 3. You really might want to reconsider leaving the recruits alone in the ship for extended periods of time.
The feed first catches an image of him screwing open the control panel of the lift, whistling Paint it Black under his breath. The feed cuts off and at later time the same song is blaring through the loudspeakers while he smokes a cigarette with Corine the Bot in the hallway.
Lastly, he addresses the camera directly with a little shit eating grin that will become quite familiar to whole Tiamat soon enough. ]
Your systems were lacking. Don't worry. I think I put everything where it belonged. It's been really great. But now I'm kind of missing my cosy little apartment in Hell. You can return me to my origin whenever you like.
2. MISSION TIME - THE BEST TIME
[ Merlin turns on his video feed the moment they land and broadcasts directly back to the base. That's what running point on recon mission is all about, right? And it just serves them right to suffer with him through this all.
His boots land in ankle deep mud and he makes a sound of displeasure as he lifts one foot and it comes off the ground with a wet sucking sound.
But then he freezes, one foot still off the ground when a bubble appears on the mud and soon another. A pair of eyes surfaces, staring at him from just a few meters away. Then another pair little to the left, and another... ]
Are you lot seeing this? I hope some of you have encountered these critters before. Now is a good time to tell me if they have a mouth full of teeth that they're going to attach to my person in the near future.
[ This feed is actually captured from security cameras on Deck 3. You really might want to reconsider leaving the recruits alone in the ship for extended periods of time.
The feed first catches an image of him screwing open the control panel of the lift, whistling Paint it Black under his breath. The feed cuts off and at later time the same song is blaring through the loudspeakers while he smokes a cigarette with Corine the Bot in the hallway.
Lastly, he addresses the camera directly with a little shit eating grin that will become quite familiar to whole Tiamat soon enough. ]
Your systems were lacking. Don't worry. I think I put everything where it belonged. It's been really great. But now I'm kind of missing my cosy little apartment in Hell. You can return me to my origin whenever you like.
2. MISSION TIME - THE BEST TIME
[ Merlin turns on his video feed the moment they land and broadcasts directly back to the base. That's what running point on recon mission is all about, right? And it just serves them right to suffer with him through this all.
His boots land in ankle deep mud and he makes a sound of displeasure as he lifts one foot and it comes off the ground with a wet sucking sound.
But then he freezes, one foot still off the ground when a bubble appears on the mud and soon another. A pair of eyes surfaces, staring at him from just a few meters away. Then another pair little to the left, and another... ]
Are you lot seeing this? I hope some of you have encountered these critters before. Now is a good time to tell me if they have a mouth full of teeth that they're going to attach to my person in the near future.
2
They look ugly. Maybe you should stab one in the eye, especially if they start sucking on your boot like some thirsty slore.
[ Is she slurring? ...Nah. That rainbow liquor from Nienov is definitely out of the feed picture. He'll never know. ]
You could take some selfies with the natives. I heard Earthians love that kinda shit.
no subject
I'd rather not have my toes deep throated, I'll have you know.
So, in short, you're saying you don't know?
[ He lifts his hand, spreading his fingers like he's coming from planet Vulcan and clears his throat. ]
I come in peace. We bring vodka and sciency bullcrap that would help you with laying asphalt on top of your mud pit. Please blink if you can uh... understand me. [ A beat. ] Or hear me?
[ It's quiet, except for the slurping sound that his boot makes when he puts it down. ]
I don't see any blinking...
no subject
I am not inclined to say yes or no, as I do not have--Liv, what's that say, it's smeared. [ A pause, murmurs too low for Merlin to hear, and then Velia's saying 'ohhhhhhhhh.' ] AS I DO NOT HAVE ACCESS TO THAT LEVEL OF INFORMATION.
[ Sorry Merlin, don't go deaf, Velia just accidentally hit the volume button when she leaned back. ]
Maybe they're allergic to vodka. Those heathens. Better whip our your dick. Everyone loves a good dick.
[ That was definitely a hiccup. ]
no subject
I think you just spilled go-juice on your reports and now you're expecting me to run blind into this. Didn't we have this conversation about digital versus paper just yesterday?
[ He steps forward, because why not? He could stand here all day and stare but... ]
Excuse me, I'm not going to expose my genitalia to the natives. They might take it as an offering and I'm rather attached to mine.
no subject
Ancient tits, pet, you make imbibaging-- [ Yes, she just made that word up. ] --sound so wrong.
I also don't remember. Paper is better. Digital gives me a headache, and people never shut up enough to let me concentrate. But I will tell you that whatever that line was about the natives is now an attractive neon green blob that makes the mission report a lot easier on the eyes.
[ There's a pause, and it's obvious she's drinking more by the sounds of liquid sloshing in a glass bottle. ]
Are their heads supposed to to deflate? Oh! You know what this reminds me of? There was a meme Katve found about blobfish. They're really fucking ugly. I'll have to get Liv to send it to you. But you should probably show them your dick, because--holy crap they have tentacles!
no subject
Where are they coming from? [ His voice has gone a little wild and amazed. ] I'm standing right here. And they just keep coming! Are you seeing this?
[ He's also been touched by tentacles now. Several muddy appendages are sliding down his arms and front. ]
Ah... I feel violated. You've never heard of personal space, have you? No vodka for you, bad critters.
no subject
She's definitely not seeing this until he asks her if she is, and then she's leaning forward, gaping at the screen. There's a bit of static when the tentacles reach out to grope him, and she's fist smashing the screen as if it'll make a difference. It doesn't. ]
Maybe it's good you didn't whip it out. Are you sure you want them feeling you up like that? What if they probe you?
[ Gross. But she's oddly invested in seeing if that's the case. Thunking her elbows onto the table, she watches the screen which follows Merlin. His other teammates are slopping through the mud until-- ]
Uh oh. Listen pet, don't freak out, but I think the pod people just ate Norma. Just sucked her right under the mud like a vacuum.
1
Listen, I don't know who you are, but you're going to want to cut that shit out.
Mainly because the green lady's going to skewer you alive.
[ He's already fiddling with the controls to try and get a lock on Corine. ]
Also because I can't fix my arm while you're dicking around.
no subject
Maybe you should tell the green lady to just send me back where they picked me up. That'd solve everyone's headache, don't you think?
no subject
And frankly I don't care whether we keep you or dump your innards through the garbage disposal. Pissing off the green lady makes all our lives hell. There's your warning.
Next warning comes as a bullet to your head or your nutsack. Your choice.
no subject
And I'm shocked and a little bit afraid of this monstrous entity that you describe.
But, still, I find myself rather curious whether that is a choice between my head and my nutsack? That's not much of a warning. Aren't you overreacting a little bit?
no subject
no subject
You're going to give yourself an aneurysm like that.
[ So sorry, Arthur. You're collateral damage. ]